


Fictober18 #11 - “But I will never forget!”

by hope-for-olicity (Jacq)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mentions of self-harm, fictober18, post 6x23, really sad and broken Felicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 12:22:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16264124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacq/pseuds/hope-for-olicity
Summary: Felicity is not dealing with Oliver being in prison.





	Fictober18 #11 - “But I will never forget!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is today’s entry for fictober. I’m going to try to post a short story every day during October based on a quote provided by the organizer of Fictober18. All stories will be from Arrow based on the Olicity Fandom.

 

Felicity thought the night they took Oliver to prison would be the worse night of her life - she was wrong - it was every night her husband was away.

 

Oliver always told her that he slept better when she was by his side. But Felicity soon learned she couldn’t sleep without Oliver. If she did sleep, she dreamt of him. Like some cruel joke, only to wake up and rediscover she had lost him.

 

She knew she was falling apart. She was trying so hard to keep it together for William’s sake. He deserved one parent he could count on. Felicity tried. She really did, she was burning the candle at both ends.

 

Initially, she and William had been in a safe house in the country but Diaz found them. The ARGUS team was able to protect them but after they were discovered, Felicity fought hard to move back to their home in Star City. She literally ached for Oliver and all of Oliver’s things were in Star City. 

 

Felicity began her day pretending to be okay. She’d get William ready then off to school. She would always put up a brave front for him. Although, it felt he was pulling further away from her. She knew part of it was being a teenage boy not wanting his Stepmom hovering, she felt the sting of rejection all the same.

 

When William wasn’t with her she focused on finding a way to free Oliver, finding Diaz and doing some small IT jobs from home to bring money in. Due to Oliver’s decision to reveal to the world that he was the Green Arrow, she and William faced a lot of scrutiny, sometimes outright attacks when they left the house. John brought William to and from his private school. At first, William told her about encounters with the public, now when she asked he said everything was fine, code for leave me alone.

 

Yes, some people thanked Felicity for the Arrow’s service but you truly never knew which way it was going to go. And it’s not like she was in a positive state of mind. John tried to get her to leave the house. She did everything she could to avoid interacting with people. She felt broken, like half of her was missing. She just wanted to be alone. No one really understood what she was going through. Her husband chose to leave her for prison. He chose and she ached.

 

Felicity knew she wasn’t taking care of herself. She put in an effort to set an example when William was around but when he wasn’t - she frequently didn’t eat, she drifted between staring into space thinking about her husband or sobbing on the floor.

 

Until one day, the lack of sleep, food and stress caught up with her. She collapsed. 

 

*****

 

John usually just dropped William off after school but today he felt the need to go check on Felicity, it was like a gut feeling. William unlocked the door, headed straight for his room. John walked in “Felicity?” He called out again when she didn’t respond, maybe she was in the shower. He began wondering into the loft, it took him just a moment to find her unconscious body on the kitchen floor. 

 

He raced over to Felicity. John was relieved when he found a weak pulse. He quickly looked for signs of self-harm, he knew Felicity was not okay. He called 911. “William,” he really didn’t want to add more to the boy’s plate but he was going to notice when the paramedics arrived.

 

William must have heard John’s tone because he rushed to the kitchen. “Oh My God, Felicity!” He stood back in the kitchen door with a look of horror. “Is she dead?” 

 

“No,” John quickly reassured him. “She has a pulse. I called an ambulance. Get your stuff, you’re coming with us.”

 

William raced away to get his stuff. John saw the fear in his eyes, he wished he could comfort Oliver’s boy but right now he had to hold onto Felicity. How could have let this happen?

 

*****

 

John knew Felicity was not okay right from the start. He saw her puffy eyes, dark circles beneath from lack of sleep. She looked gaunt.  He arguing with Lyla that they needed to give her time. She just lost her husband, they should cut her some slack. But looking at her in a hospital bed hooked up to machines he knew he was wrong. He should have stepped in. He would never forgive himself for this.

 

Lyla had taken a shaken William back to their place a few hours ago. John needed to stay. He needed Felicity to know she was not alone. She had him. 

 

It was close to midnight before Felicity finally stirred. John wasn’t sure if it happened or just wishful thinking on his part at first, the room was dimly lit. Then he heard her low voice, “Oliver?”

 

“Felicity, it’s me, John. I’m here.” John pulled his chair closer to the bed.

 

A look of anguish crossed her face as she remembered. “Oh right, Oliver is gone.” She turned her face away, a tear slipped down her cheek.

 

“Yes, Oliver is in prison. But I’m here, William is with Lyla but he’s here for you too. Felicity, you are not alone. Do you hear me? You are not alone.” John really needed Felicity to hear him. 

 

Felicity nodded.

 

“I found you collapsed at home. The doctors say you were dehydrated and exhausted. You have to stay in the hospital until your counts are back to normal. After that, we are going to talk about how I can best help you. Sitting here, I was thinking maybe we could ask Raisa to come back to help.” John felt hopeful as he offered her the solution.

 

“Maybe,” Felicity didn’t want to admit that she couldn’t afford Raisa. She could barely afford to feed her and William. Money was very tight. It’s not like they paid the Mayor while he was in jail and the business she started with Curtis went caput with Oliver’s reveal.

 

John knew there was more to that maybe. “Felicity, you need to let someone in. I’m here. I can be your person. I’m not saying, forget Oliver.”

 

“But I will never forget! I never forget, Oliver ever. And I don’t want to. It just hurts so much that he chose to leave us, leave me. He left me. All I see when I shut my eyes is him.” Felicity began to cry in earnest.

 

Diggle couldn’t stop himself, he pulled Felicity into a hug. He let her sob on his shoulder. “Oh Felicity, we are going to do everything we can to bring him back to you. I know you have been trying to stay strong for William but who has been strong for you? It should have been me. I know that now. I’m not going anywhere, Felicity. We’ll work together to bring Oliver home.” 

 

Felicity pulled back to look her friend in the eye. “It’s not your fault, John. Please, understand If you had tried to be there for me I would have pushed you away. I wasn’t ready, I’m still not. But I have to get better for William. We both need Oliver back, John.”

 

John smiled. “Then that’s what we are going to do.”


End file.
